Being Happy

I think I've come to realize that the secret to being happy is to have lowered expectations. That way, if something good happens, I'm happy, and if nothing good happens, I'm not unhappy because I didn't expect anything good to happen in the first place.

I think after a while it will get a little depressing.

3 and 4 Sentence Movie Reviews: Juno and Enchanted

I saw Juno; it was great! I love that Michael Cera, what a cutie, and Ellen Page was also great. Witty dialogue, great soundtrack. I think they did the singing.

Enchanted was awesome. It's nice to know that Disney can poke fun at themselves. Great humor and costumes.

Coming Soon: Sleep Comfort

I just bought a Tempur-Pedic mattress today, for the low low price of $2000, plus tax. It's coming on Saturday. I've been complaining about my uncomfortable mattress since right after I bought it, so I figured I'd just get a new one, finally, with my bonus. I tried a bunch of regular coil mattresses but nothing felt as good as the TempurPedic, except the one that cost $3000. Now, THAT's too much money for a mattress. It was some fancy mattress at Sleepy's. That company has a bed you lay on that calculates how you sleep and what the best type of mattress is for you.

More to come on Saturday! Now, I just need fancy new sheets to put on top. I did NOT buy thet $60 stainguard cover, since I haven't had to worry about that since the surgery. How embarrassing it will be for me, though, when they take out the old stained mattress. Gross. I'm going to leave an old sheet on it so I don't have to be too mortified.

Grouchy

I'm a little grouchy because it's Friday night and I don't have any plans for a date this weekend. It's okay, I have plenty to do. The house is a mess, I have Christmas and birthday shopping to do; I need to get to the gym at some point since I only got there once this week and the pounds are creeping on again. I'm just trying to not feel insecure about the whole dating thing. (I should stop complaining but I spent the day working from home by myself and I'm grumpy. To much alone time is not good for me.)

So, I'm on my way to Joann Fabric to get materials to make superhero capes for my nephews. What better way to fight the blues than to go to a fabric store on Friday night? I'll probably be in the company of several other cat** ladies, grandmas, and single girls without dates. Later, I'll be stepping up the excitement by writing out my Christmas cards! Thankfully, I have a little Three Buck Chuck to help me along. And also, disc 1, season 1 of The OC. As usual, I'm watching the dramas years after they've begun and often after they've been cancelled. Happy Friday!


*Dating: more than 5 dates; a record since I dated the stalker. So far, so good, I think.
**My cat cost me over $100 this week and he has fleas (well, flea dirt, so where there's dirt, there are probably fleas. Three treatments of Frontline for both cats and we should be good. Plus some tuna flavored pain relief for Sam; he was favoring his leg for a week or so.

Ears

Several months ago, I made the mistake of going into the back room at the Hotel Vernon, a dive bar in town, and watching the band play. The band was a really loud punk rock band. I don't like punk rock. Why did I go in there?! The next day, my hearing was muffled and it took at least a day for it to go away. This was the second time in maybe a year or 2 that I'd had that experience. The time before was at a dance club in Boston (Ned Devine's).

After this last experience, my hearing came back, but I had ringing (tinnitus). It's loud at times, and sometimes really annoying. When I'm tired it's louder. When I'm well rested and not stressed it seems to fade into the background. It's loudest when I'm in a quiet place, like when I'm in bed. I always listened to talk radio to get to sleep but now it seems almost imperative.

On Monday, I had an appointment at the Ear Nose and Throat department. I had a hearing test, which was really cool. They put me in an almost soundproof room and I had to raise my hand when I heard beeping. Sometimes, I had headphones over my ears, sometimes the headphones were outside and behind my ears. The doctor also used a tuning fork. As it turns out, I have perfect hearing, but the ringing probably won't go away. Over time, it might fade into the background. I need to be careful, and use ear plugs.

Last night, I went to see the Dan Kane Singers, a Christmas concert. I didn't bring ear plugs. I didn't realize it would be so loud. It was loud. It was good, but loud. I'm hoping I didn't do any further damage. I am in the Christmas spirit, though! :)

The Slow Period is Over

I thought the end of the year was the time of year that people sort of slacked off at work. Apparently, in my profession, it's the time of year that you start a HUGE project with a Jan. 1 deliverable date. Happy December! I'm just glad I took a week off earlier this month.

In other news, I am returning at least one of the pocketbooks - the 22.99 one. I think I might also return the $80 one. It's too nice. And kind of big. Yup. Off to TJ Maxx to make a return. I'm keeping the cheesy 12.99 not-leather one. God. I am NOT fashionable.

Thanksgiving

Today I am giving thanks that Thanksgiving is over. It's not a holiday unless there's crying, right? I finally snapped at about 4:30 yesterday. The day started with a phone call at 9:10 am. On a holiday!!! I get to sleep late and the phone rings. Granted, the caller thought it was actually 10:10 am because the clock hadn't been adjusted for daylight savings time, but even 10 is early.

I spent the morning peeling and chopping carrots, then lugged the carrots, a dessert, 2 folding chairs, a giant bottle of pinot grigio, a book (in case I got bored. Ha! Bored? I was being given tasks to do all afternoon. No time for boredom.), a pair of sneakers (in case we went for a walk), and two trays of stuffed mushrooms. This took about four trips up and down the mountainous flight of stairs that I'm growing weary of.

I'm not going to go into great detail about the stress of Thanksgiving. I will say this. I drank probably more than half of the magnum size bottle of wine. Maybe that's why I cried, but I think I would have cried sooner if I had not been drinking.

Also, I've come up with a Christmas gift list for my parents.

• Gates - so that we don't have to spend the entire day chasing after a very mobile 2 year old. This 2 year old has a 5 year old brother. You'd think that they'd have bought gates sooner.
• A case of paper towels. Who doesn't have paper towels around, at least for a holiday?
• A large cutting board that belongs in the upstairs kitchen.
• A good chef's knife, or a santoku knife, also for the upstairs kitchen.
• A larger size folding table
• Folding chairs
• An entire home remodel. (Wishful thinking. I'll start with a new cooktop in the kitchen.)

I'm also thankful that I can work from home on this day after a holiday.

Shopping Guilt

I went to TJ Maxx yesterday, all sweaty and gross from the gym, because I desperately needed a black pocketbook. Yes, it was a life or death situation. (Not really.) I ended up with three new bags, one for $12.99, one for $22.99, and one for $79.99. Did I really need three bags? Of course not. What the hell am I doing, buying 3 bags, and spending eighty dollars on just one? I justified it by telling myself that my sister bought a bag for way more recently. Of course, she hasn't been on the clothing shopping spree that I've been on for the past 2 months (or really, the past lifetime). I have new cords, new pants, sweaters, socks, it goes on and on. I did buy 2 skirts that I need to return, at least one of them, and I have held back on spending money on these. I'm waiting for them to go on sale.*

So, I felt so guilty that I called Amanda to tell her about my spending and she didn't get to the phone. Then I got stuck in the express lane at the grocery store in front of someone who had 2 purchases in one cart, and was OCD about how the cashier rung up the items. They had to be in a specific order because "everything is getting crushed!" and she didn't have enough money for everything. I was sighing about this with the woman in line behind me and so I told her I had to confess to someone that I'd spent almost $200 @ TJ Maxx when I really just needed one pocketbook. Oh, I also spent some $ on nailpolish. So, overall, yesterday was a pretty pricey day. On the plus side, I get a bonus in less than a month, and I have clothes that fit, so when I go to work I feel comfortable. Also, I have things to wear on dates other than the same pair of jeans.

*Read the description of the boots from the seller. She is ebaying them because she can't afford to keep them. Hilarious. A woman after my own heart. I have done mass returns because I need the money and overspent. A sign of a serious shopping problem. Maybe I should get some help.
Oh, and the reason I want these boots is because them come in "extended calf" sizes. Meaning, these calves that are so strong they can break a chicken's neck would actually fit inside of them. I bought some wide-calf boots from Eddie Bauer last year and apparently they think that wide calf also means wide ankle. It was all loose and bunchy at the ankle and looked terrible.

It's Deval Patrick's Show

It just hit me. Deval Patrick and Garry Shandling have the exact same voice.

*Warning: I only watched the first 5 minutes of the video linked to above. I don't know if it's rude or whatever, but Ricky does say the F word in the first minute or so.

I went apple picking at Honey Pot Hill. Picking was slim - the trees were really tall, all the apples were way up high, and it was really muggy. Plus I was suffering from a full-body hive attack, an allergic reaction to something I ate. I managed to get more than enough Cortlands to make a pie. I made the crust from scratch in the food processor. I learned the hard way that it's not large enough to make a full batch from the Baking With Julia cookbook. I ended up making a half batch. I cut up more apples than I should have (Joy of Cooking recipe, Apple I) and decided to just throw them all in. I did not, however, cook the pie any longer, and so the apples were sort of firm in many places and there was way too much juice, even after it cooled for 4 hours. Next time, I'm following the recipe. The crust was awesome, and the pie was tasty, but not as good as the pie Amanda made today. She used winesap apples and followed the recipe from Joy of Cooking (Apple I).

This is only half of the huge rainbow I saw today, stretching out across the sky. It was a full rainbow; you could see both ends! You can't really see in this picture, but it was a double rainbow. About an inch from the rainbow you see was another, fainter one. So cool.



This photo was taken from a parking lot because Amanda wouldn't let me take it at a Stop sign. She said it was a yield sign. So I pulled over into a parking lot of what I think might have been a car dealership.

Politics in the city

I went to a political debate last night, held at a local bar for the race for Mayor. As I left the house, I thought to myself: "This is the only way I could be persuaded to go to a debate - at a bar."

It was okay. The candidates talked too much and often didn't answer the question. There was some heckling from the audience - which was kind of annoying. The local self-proclaimed minister of culture thought he should engage in kind of bratty heckling. It was childish, but I guess that's what you get in a bar. I would probably go back to another debate at a similar place but would only have one beer. I'm feeling pretty cruddy today after 2 and a half. Though I really enjoyed the Ephemere beer - flavored with green apple, coriander, and curacao. DEE-lish.

Personally, It's Kind of Fun

I am now on another dating website, and it's definitely a little different than the first one. For one thing, people seem to be more open to sending emails. Also, they have pre-written one-liners that you can send, instead of just a wink. Like, "Thank for getting in touch. Do you have a photo you can post?". I've emailed back and forth with a few guys who all seem nice, albeit illiterate (well, not all of them, just some.) Then I got this email from a guy I never emailed with before.

melissa,,lets marry for real,,,joe,, my yahoo ID is -----,,you,ll like everything about me,,god bless

Let's marry? I don't think so.
God bless? I believe my religion is listed as agnostic. Maybe he could have chosen another closing to his quite eloquent email.
And what's with all the commas? He's even used on in place of an apostrophe.
Also, he's got the worst moustache that goes all the way down to his chin.
What a winner.

TGIF

It's been a rough couple of days. Not that I like to complain (not at all, really) but it all started on Thursday morning. I was just about to head out the door and was attempting to put in some earrings when I noticed that my chest and neck were all blotchy. I was covered in hives from my neck (right below my chin) to halfway down my legs, my arms, tops of my hands, and it was starting to itch. I looked pretty nasty but I was late and hungry and needed a coffee to counteract the Benadryl I knew I'd need to get rid of the hives. So I stopped at the bagel place and hoped that people didn't give me any funny looks.

I put the call into my friend, just in case something happened to me, someone would know I had hives. Since I didn't have any trouble breathing it was probably okay.

2 Benadryls in, I had a meeting at my desk. For once, I had an in-person meeting instead of a conference call, and I looked like I had Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever plus I was having trouble focusing from the Benadryl. How professional.

It was apple picking day (work outing) and the rash stayed away until about 5, and then it came back but there was no way I was going to take anything else because I wanted to have a beer and I knew there would be problems if I mixed. My fish sandwich tasted fishy, and that's not good even though it was fish. I'd had a caramel apple, 1 and a half cider donuts, and a pint of apple cider. Nature's laxative was running through my system and I was a half hour from home. Could be a serious problem.

I got home around 10:30 (after stopping at Amanda's to watch the office) and noticed when I opened the door that it wasn't actually closed. Had I not pulled the door all the way closed when I rushed out with the 3 trash bags, covered in hives and running really late? Probably, because I've done it before. I went in and noticed that the living room light was switched off by the wall switch, not the remote. I didn't think I'd done that so I was sketched out. I called the parents, Dad came over and fixed my loose doorknob, and then went around checking out each room, the cellar, closets, and eaves. Each time he opened a door, he called "Boo!" It was awesome.

Nobody was here. It was all paranoia. But I still grabbed my pjs, contact stuff, and eyeglasses and headed down to the parents' for a sleepover. And here's the worst part. I dropped my glasses on the ground and drove over them with the car. They are totaled. Totaled. $351 - 6 months ago. I am such an idiot. Time for shopping that is even less fun than shopping for jeans; shopping for glasses.

Today, the rash was still around but it's getting much better. I checked in at the doctor's and they said "lay off the wine, take the Benadryl if it flares up, and let us know if the hives don't go away by Monday." I'd had wine on Wednesday night; it could've been an allergic reaction.

So, I'm not even going to bother calling the eye doctor's to see if there is a warranty. What kind of warranty would cover me driving over the darn things? I'm just going to suck it up - or maybe wait until I get the rx in the mail and then call them and ask. I need to spend less on the next pair, so I'm going to try lens crafters.

And so, thank goodness it's Friday. I am done for the week.

Working from home

Working from home is the new thing for me. Twice a week I work in my PJs. I am actually really productive, and usually don't eat very well, or get any laundry done. Today, I was in meetings for about 7 hours but I found time to take a 20 minute walk around the block and I made it to the 5:30 pilates class that I usually have to skip because I get out of work late and get stuck in shitty traffic on 290. Stop and go all the way up the hill between Main St Shrewsbury and Lincoln St. Traffic comes to a screeching halt right after the Main St Shrews exit, but there' s a bend in the road and you can't see the brake lights until it's too late to get off the highway before you're stuck in the jam. This week, for 2 days in a row, I didn't have to deal with traffic. Awesome.

Tomorrow's a different story.

Movie Review

I just watched The Painted Veil, with Naomi Watts and Ed Norton. Ed Norton is one of those actors who's not really attractive unless he has a tan. He was not cute, by any means, for the first 9/10 of the movie, and then, he had a tan and a white tank top on and looked pretty good. The movie was good, too. I might try to read one of the other books by the author (W. Somerset Maugham). But for now, I'm watching reruns of King of Queens.

Movies and more

I just renewed my Netflix account, and I'm starting small - 2 out at a time, unlimited number of rentals, for the low price of $13.99 a month. I have a feeling I'll up it to 3 at a time when it starts snowing.

To continue 21 things about myself:

6. I enjoy solitude but only when I'm alone by choice. When I want to do something, talk to someone, or just don't feel like being alone, I feel antsy and usually end up going shopping.

7. I judge people by the beer they drink. It's not nice, not open-minded, and I probably shouldn't vocalize it, but I do.

8. My favorite kind of pizza is homemade. I buy the crust pre-made at Price Chopper and use canned tomato sauce or jarred sauce - whatever I have around. I have yet to find a pizza in the city that I really like, aside from Papa Gino's. Even Papa's, though, has gotten much much thinner over the years and makes me feel a little icky after I eat it.

Books

I love to read and have a headache today because I didn't get enough sleep last night because I was reading. I was up past 1 am reading. I just had to finish the book, even though I knew it would not bode well for my demeanor on Thursday. So, I haven't been tagged, exactly, but I read Cate's blog and I am going to assume that "you" means "me". So here goes:

Number of Books
Less than I used to. Maybe 100. I got rid of most of my old college text books, and don't have many of my childhood books, unless they're in one of those boxes that my mother so gleefully deposited on my doorstep when I bought my house seven years ago. I have one bookshelf with books that I own. I usually read most books once, like I usually only rent movies once (though if a good movie is on TV I'll watch it; I just won't actually choose to watch the same movie more than once, if I had the option to choose something I hadn't seen. Maybe that's why I usually can't quote lines from movies.) I now have one bookcase of books, just 5 shelves, and one whole shelf is phone books.

Last Book Read
Driving With Dead People, by Monica Holloway. I didn't realize there was going to be a molestation factor until about halfway through, and then I had to get to the end to find out what happened. This is why I was up half the night last night. It was good but not really a happy book.

Last Book Bought
I only buy books now if I know I'll want to own it, if I know it will take a while to get through, or if I'm in an airport and I don't have anything to read. Or, if I'm traveling. I like to go into bookstores in other cities, and usually buy something. Last book I bought: Don't Let's Go to the Dogs Tonight, used $4.99, in Boston.

Five Meaningful Books

It's hard to pick just 5; I'm doing 6 (really, 7 plus the series books).

Anne of Green Gables, the series, by Lucy Maud Montgomery. So romantic. And the Canadian TV series - awesome. Prince Edward Island is on my list of places to visit in my lifetime.

Little House books. I'm not copying Cate, but man, I loved those books and have read them so many times. I want to own them but right now I only have the first one. When I was younger, I made maple candy on snow, from the Farmer Boy book (heat up maple syrup, then squiggle it on snow and it hardens and gets chewy.

How to be Idle and How to be Free by Tom Hodgkinson: These books are changing my life and making me look at my life and my priorities and see where they need to changes so I can be happier.

The Xanth novels by Piers Anthony: These books are fantastic. Full of puns and plays on words, plus magic. For example, a spelling bee is a bee that buzzes around and instead of "z" floating behind the bee, letters spelling words do. See? Cool.

It by Stephen King: I did not like this book but I read the whole 4 inch thick hardcover when I was in middle school or whenever it came out and it really turned me right off of suspense novels. Lesson learned - don't start a scary book in the evening or you'll be up all night finishing it or else you'll have nighmares (see also: Pet Sematary)

We Thought You Would Be Prettier by Laurie Notaro. Laurie Notario is hilarious; I laugh out loud whenever I read her essays.


Well, since Cate is my only friend who has a blog, I'm not tagging anyone.

Melissa or Katie Holmes?

I just got my hair cut, in a new style. It's a stacked bob, I guess, shorter in the back than in the front. My bangs are still growing out so for work I sweep them to the side and use some hairspray and for all other occasions, I clip them back with a mini clip. Now, for those of you who've seen the haircut, picture it all nicely blowdried, with a little root lifter in there, and then, click this link to check out Katie Holmes. I think we have the same haircut!

Sunday's post - a day last

I spent Sunday doing housework - moving a king size bed from my bedroom to one of the other bedrooms. It's really uncomfortable, the frame is way too big for my bedroom, and I've been dying to get rid of it for months. Now, Chris' old room is a nice-looking guest room. Though I do have to sweep, vac, and mop it tonight.

My room, on the other hand, is full of dust bunnies and clean clothes that I don't have any room for in the closets and dresser. They are full of clothes that don't fit, or are summer weight.

To continue, 21 things you might not know about me...

3. I am not afraid of flying; but if I am delayed for 3+ hours due to a plan that keeps icing up and then fails its safety test twice, I am not raring to get on the plane. Even if it IS to go to Vegas.

4. I like prunes. They're sweet, chewy, are a good afternoon snack, and they also help out in the area that most women have trouble with (digestion).

5. I like aerobics. Yup, I do.

Writer's Block

This daily blogging is not the easiest. I don't really have much to say today - I got it all out verbally. So, I guess I'll try the "21 things about me you might not know".

1. It's not really a secret but I watch really bad TV. There are many nights when I'll watch back-to-back episodes of Reba, and I knew exactly why the Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus tour is called "The Best of Both Worlds". It's not as bad as the nights in college I'd stay up watching Blind Date, but it's pretty bad.

2. When I start thinking about something that I don't want to think about, I start humming to distract myself and get off the subject.

Absentmindendess

I made tomato soup at for lunch today, at around 12:30. I took the pan off the stove, poured the extra in a container, went on my way, and then 6 hours later, I turned off the burner. Yup, that's right. The gas was on simmer all afternoon. I even left the house and went to the grocery store. What is wrong with me?

Friday Night - Whoop Whoop

Oh my god, it's 6:49 and it's practically pitch black outside. How did it get to be fall already? The last time I checked it was still hot out. I spend way too much time indoors and now it's going to be too dark to spend much time outside anyway. I need to start walking with my reflector vest (It's cool, really. I'll also probably carry a flashlight.)

I just saw a breast cancer commercial in which one of the women said "Be my bra." It was talking about how you/we can be the support for people who have cancer. "Be my bra." That's the best they could come up with. In related news, the Stephen Colbert WristStrong campaign for wrist-health awareness is just hilarious.


Happy Friday!

What A Day

It started badly, running late as usual. Early morning argument about a concert I didn't want to go to. Then, I called the doctor because the wound seemed to be swelling up more. It's okay; it can take at least a day for the antibiotics to kick in. Keep the arm elevated, i was told. I wasn't so that's probably why. Late breakfast, not hungry for lunch until the caf closed. So, starving at 3, after having an apple and a handful of pistachio nuts for lunch.
Came home to a dead mouse on the porch. Probably a gift from Sam. First an infection, then a mouse. What a good cat.
I'm off to elevate my arm and read a book. And get psyched for The Office.

The Cats Strike Again

Isn't it appropriate that minutes after I got a text message that included this sentence "Quite a cat u met; what a sweetheart", my cat bit my arm, which subsequently got infected for the THIRD time in one year? First time Second time

The text was from a date, whose cat I met, and she really was a sweetheart. Much friendlier than my cats; he warned me once I met his cat, I wouldn't feel the same way about mine, and he's right.

Now, I've got circles on my forearm, and I have to watch to make sure that the infection doesn't spread. I also had a tetanus so I also have to watch out for side effects from that. Hives, itching, swelling of the ears and nose. Needless to say, it hasn't been the best of days.

12 Days to Start Fresh

I was having a conversation with a date (well, there it goes, now that I've publicly announced that I had a date, the future is doomed. I'll never hear from him again. That would be too bad.) about going to the gym and eating healthy and making decisions and resolutions. One of my friends said she was starting a healthy diet on Monday. Monday happened to be the first of October. Anyway, this date said that he starts things at the beginning of the month; he considers a new month like a mini New Year's, and that way, he has 12 chances to stick to resolutions. It makes things seem more attainable, and also makes it less crappy when you fail to stick to the resolution because you can just start over again next month instead of saying "well, I guess I know what will be on my New Year's Resolution list next year."

Anyway, I was reminded of this conversation when I read this post from Cate about resolving to spend less and get more sleep. I have worked pretty hard, and not really successfully, on spending less. First, I stopped using my credit cards. Then I stopped buying daily breakfast on the way to work. That saved about $100 a month, and helped with the other goal that I'm not getting any closer to achieving - losing 30 pounds. But then, I needed shoes, and then I got really busy at work and was too tired to make enough dinner so there'd be leftovers for lunch the next day, so I bought lunch at work, and ate lame dinners at home. And then, I needed more shoes.

So, I'm getting there but it's a constant battle. I spend money when I feel sad, but I don't usually feel better with clutter. Now, I spend money on practical things, mostly. I don't do the monthly Christmas Tree Shop trip, and I only buy beauty products I actually need.

My October resolution is to do some sort of exercise at least 4 times a week. So far, I've gone twice. There are three days left in the week. Can I do it? Time will tell.

I think my November resolution will be to work on reducing my level of anxiety. Perhaps by going to yoga or something. At this moment, I'm so wound up I don't know if I can wait until November.

A Post a Day

So, it's Down Syndrome Awareness month (that's Down, not Down's, but whatever), and there are a group of bloggers who are trying to post at least once a day for the entire month. It was started by a Tricia, who has a daughter with DS, and got to me by way of Cate.

I haven't been blogging lately, for a lot of reasons. Work is really busy and the last thing I want to do is sit in front of the computer at home after I do it all day. My eyes get really tired and my brain is burned out. I've been stressed about the house sale, dating (yes, that's not fun - well, it is, but the waiting, the waiting for the calls. That sucks.), my weight, keeping my house clean, and work (job interviews, getting turned down, turning jobs down, and now, taking a break and realizing that I am actually happy where I am. In work, in home, and eventually I'll be happy with my shape. It's something that I can control, I just have to put my mind to actually doing more than 2 days of exercise a week. And the crappy eating has got to stop.

So, as a way to get myself to write more posts, transfer more photos from the camera to the computer, and actually take more pictures, and to raise awareness of Down Syndrome (also called T-21, or Trisomy 21, because of the presence of an extra 21st chromosome. I'm going to draw an analogy which is going to seem possibly disrespectful, but I'm doing it anyway. Before I bought my Saab (my first official car - the wagon doesn't count), I never saw any other Saabs on the road. The only one I had ever seen was the one my friend Jim had. Then, once I got one, I saw them everywhere. It was like, I'd never noticed them until I was aware of them. Before Abby was born, the only time I encountered people with DS was at work, when I worked at a pharmacy and there was a residence in the neighborhood where developmentally disabled adults. Now, it seems like I see more babies or people with DS, I hear of more people having children with DS, and I'm basically just more aware. I know that being aware of it doesn't mean I can do anything to prevent it or make people who are concerned about it feel better but I do know that Abby's just another baby and I hope that being around people with DS helps me not treat them any differently than other kids, or people. It's not exactly like speaking loudly to people who don't speak your language, but I definitely hope I don't talk down to people with disabilities.

I listened to this show last weekend. One of the stories was about a news program called How's Your News about a team of developmentally disabled people who travel across the country doing man-on-the-street interviews. I thought the comment about how people take the news team more seriously when they have microphones was sort of sad. The story was actually really funny and worth the $0.95 download if you didn't happen to get it free off iTunes.

So, anyway, this post isn't especially insightful or thoughtful, but it's a post. Check out the Get It Down: 31 for 21 at the button below.

One of the suggestions made was to share 21 things about yourself. I might do that, but right now, I have to go do something else I've been neglecting. The laundry.

New Furniture!

I bought a new desk and a chair on Saturday. Much assembly required. The chair is great. Comfortable, sleek. Unfortunately, the arm rests aren't rounded, which means when I swing around, if it's not at the right height, they gouge the brand new desk!! That's right. Big gouge. Oh well. Here's the desk. I didn't get the hutch but I might go back for it.

Guess who loves the chair? Every time I got up for something, Willow was in the chair when I got back!

Little Monadnock

I went to Little Mondadnock a couple of weeks ago with Amanda and Karen. Here are a few pictures. It was a great view - Monadnock was like, right there!

Here we are, before the hike. Of course, we had to stop at the bathroom before the hike. It was a long ride up there.


The view of Mount Monadnock from the scenic vista of Little Monadnock.

Off the Market

The house, not me. I'm still looking. Hahahaa.

Panic Setting In

I just spent the past half hour looking at the apartment listings for Boston, Cambridge, JP, etc. on Craigslist. It's sad. Things are really expensive and don't really look so great. I'm really worried that the house is going to sell, and I'm going going to have to rush to find an apartment, and I'll end up in a roach-infested dump with on-street parking and the cats will be forced to stay inside for the rest of their lives. That would really suck.

Is there another way to be happy? Maybe I should take the house off the market and get a roommate. Worcester's not so bad, right? The house is clean, it's nice, it's safe, and I still get to work from home 2 days a week even if I don't move. What more do I really want? If I move to Boston, car insurance will go up, expenses will go up, and traffic will be heavier. I don't know. If the house had sold right away I wouldn't be doubting myself so much but now that I've had time to think about it, it's easy to be wishy-washy, or think maybe I should change my mind. I wish I knew the answer. I sort of have a feeling I'm going to be here for a while though. I definitely don't want to move in the winter. So... my small readership... comment if you have any advice. OR are looking for a place to live and aren't allergic to cats. ;) I have 2 empty bedrooms, DSL, and a washer and dryer.

Kal Penn

I have an unexpected obsession with Kal Penn, one of the co-stars of Harold and Kumar go to White Castle. I think he's cute, and he has a nice voice. Lucky me, he also has a bit part in "Love Don't Cost A Thing", which is on right now. What a cutie. But this movie, Love Don't Cost a Thing. It sucks. It's a remake of Can't Buy Me Love, which was much better.

So, I was browsing IMDB and GREAT NEWS!!!! They're making a sequel, due out in 2008!! I can't wait! I don't smoke, anything, but I thought the first one was hilarious!

Also starring John Cho, who was in that crazy movie about smart rich kids in California who killed someone or something... kind of disturbing but worth seeing.

more disappointment

Last week was a week of disappointments and lucky for me it's running over into today. Yay.

Funny how I just want to change one thing about my life (where I live) and I finally make that decision during the slowest real estate quarter in 16 yrs. So I resigned myself to waiting it out and I was okay with that.

Then, I met someone I thought I had a connection with and all I got out of that was a hangover and a hickey. I thought, hmm, maybe I don't need to focus on moving. Maybe it's just that something needs to change and if it's in the dating arena instead of the real estate market, that's okay. As long as it's something. But that didn't work out.

Then I thought maybe I'd have to revisit where I live based on where I work. And then THAT didn't work out. So now, here I am. Still living here; still single; still in the same job. Still (need I bother even saying it?) bored.

Oh well. At least I'm losing weight from all the anxiety. Yes, every cloud has a silver lining. Here's another: I get to work from home 2 days a week even though I haven't moved yet. That is a huge silver lining.

the day is looking up

I just got my haircut and I feel much better now. Had a great chat with the hairdresser and am feeling good.

disappointment

i've been on this online dating website for like 2 years and have not really had much luck. my record number of dates with one person is 4. i think the dating pool in my area is kind of slim- lots of illiterate folk - and people from the big city don't want to have a relationship with someone who lives an hour away. so i'd pretty much stopped using the site and my membership was set to expire at the end of this month. then i got an email from someone who seemed really interesting, and right up my alley. we went out. then we went out again. then, we went out 2 more times. all in less than 2 weeks. i sent him an email, and then, i didn't hear from him again. it's been several days and i am resigning myself to the fact that i've been cut. was it because i didn't give it up? was it something else? did he just realize he wasn't that into me? if so, fine. but i just wish these guys would have the decency to say "sorry, it's not going to work out. nice meeting you." or even just "sorry, it's not going to work out." it was only 4 dates; i suppose I shouldn't have any expectations of politeness. i should also probably practice what i preach and do the same thing. recently there was a guy i went on 2 dates with and decided I was all set, but i wasn't really into having that conversation with him, because i'd had it a few years ago and it got ugly.

so i don't have my hopes up that i'll ever hear from this guy again, but if I do, I'll have to take it as it comes.

it's clear that i'm not feeling very energetic - i can't be bothered to capitalize the letter "i".

No specific topic

Although you wouldn't know it from looking at my hands, I am now a person who gets her nails done. Granted, I wait weeks in between manicures, so all growth I was so proud of after the first week has been slowly picked off while sitting on boring, useless, interminable conference calls. So, I work to pay for the cleanup of the nails that work makes me pick off. It's a cycle that needs to be broken.

Yesterday, I saw a guy who looked like Sloth from The Goonies. I wanted to stop and take a picture but the battery in the camera was dead. Plus, that would've been really, really rude.

High on my list of chores to take care of tonight: cleaning the litter box. For those people who are jealous of single people: the grass is not any greener on this side. There's nobody to share the crappy chores with, cooking for one blows, and there's just no way in hell I can really make use of all 8 rooms of this house. There are weeks when I don't even use the half-bathroom, and then I pay the cleaners $60 to clean a clean toilet. Lately, I've been wondering if it's karma, the reason that I'm still single. I can pinpoint at least 2 actions that may be coming back to bite me right in the ass.

Also annoying: The only time I feel like blogging is when I'm utterly cranky, so now it just seems like my life is one big ball of misery. It's not, really, most of the time, but I am horribly bored.

Alright, I'm off to read and get to sleep early. I have a 530 wakeup ahead of me.

Cute Sheep

We saw this sheep at the Woodstock fair. I wish this video was a little sharper, but basically, it's just chewing and chewing and chewing. they wear those straitjacket things after they've been shorn, to keep the fur clean. is it fur? what is it before it's wool?

is it pms or am i just happy to be here?

It's a sad sad day when I cry in the car on the way to work. Do I hate my job? [Yes.] Did I get about 3 hours of sleep last night, total, and I was really tired this morning? [Yes.] Am I sick of Folger's coffee and am psyched that the second giant tub of coffee from Sam's is almost gone? [Yes!]

So for now, all I have are the emotions of PMS and the low back pain. I'm coming up on bloating, which is really awesome, and the actual event. Oh, I hope it's here in time for the weekend.

By the way, I'm in a pretty shitty mood.

Local Color

A bee in my garden

Different bee, same garden

Striped Tomatoes

Who'd have thought Pleasant St. could look so beautiful?

At the Fair

I went to the Woodstock fair this weekend, inCT. This is before we entered. The bangs definitely need a trim

Funny

Ellen segued into dancing on her show today by saying: "The reason I'm not getting sick is because the germs don't stick to you when you're dancing." I love it.

slow blogging month

it's been a slow blogging month because work is literally insane. I am doing my job and covering for a woman on maternity leave. I'm doing 2 jobs but not working tons of OT so most of the work is not getting done in time, or as effectively as it could be. I spend hours and hours on calls, all day in front of the computer, and the last thing I want to do when I get home is blog. So that's why it's been slow. Plus, I went to Toronto for work and then spent some time there over the weekend shopping. When I have time and interest, I'll post pix.

The house is still on the market but thank god, nobody's wanted to come and see it this week. It's a mess, the cats peed in the basement when I was gone, and I have not had a chance to mop it up yet. It's just not at the top of the list. Running, going out with friends, and hitting the beach top the list.

Slimming Tip

Today, I needed trouser socks but didn't have any. I wore pantyhose under pants and man, the pants looks so much better with the nylons than without. The cellulite was virtually invisible. My stomach, on the other hand, is KILLING from the 10 hours of constriction. The after-work jog was not fun, with the extra belly bouncing around and the pain from the nylons and also last night's pilates class kicking in.

4 am wakeup

I bought a bunch of flowers to make the house pretty for the open house that nobody came to. This morning, at 4 am, Willow knocked a vase over in my bedroom. Water everywhere.

Biddeford Pool, Maine

I spent an awesome 2 and a half days at Mark's friend's beach house, in Biddeford Pool, Maine. They were really nice to invite me and we had a really fun time. I hope we go back in some future summer.


Amanda, riding a bike on the beach.
Here's my foot, being iced, after I fell off a bike while riding on the beach. That's a Twisted Tea. Tasty.


Mark, Nick, and Jen


View to the left, from the back yard.


View to the right, from the back yard.

Early Morning Pain

This bruise was obtained before 9:30 this morning when I fell on a bunch of bricks, cleaning the yard for the open house. Thankless job.

Sock - Half a Pair

I finished knitting one sock, using 2 circular needles and the baby cable rib stitch from Sensational Knitted Socks by Charlene Schurch. Maybe I'll finish the 2nd on the trip to Toronto. There's a 2 hour plane ride, plus I'm taking Boston Coach to and from the airport.

Zero again

Third open house today, and no visitors again. Just like the last perfect beach day on which I had an open house.

It's a crappy time to sell a house, and I think I'm going to stop talking about it. I'm not telling anyone new about it, and I'm trying to think of a response to the question: "So, how is your house selling?" that ends the conversation right there. "It's not." That might work. Or maybe "It's not, but let's talk about something else. Really. No, really, I mean it."

Did you know it's a shitty time to try to sell a house? Yeah, I know. But, so many people want to tell me that as if I don't know.

Lazy day

http://www.boston.com/ae/events/gallery/lazyday/

Oh I wish I could be lazy today.

Second Date

About 3 weeks ago, maybe more, I met a guy at a local restaurant. He asked me for my number, I took his, and eventually, we went out on a date. Right off the bat, I knew he wasn't the guy for me. Four beers later, I thought, he's nice, so why not get to know him? I should mention her that I'm 35, not in college, and someone who knows better.

Tonight was the second date. It was much tamer than the first (not that the first was wild, but still). Dinner and a movie. I believe I can't date someone who unbuttons that many buttons (more than 2). There's more, like the adult video dvd collection, the fact that he doesn't like outdoorsy things, and is a gym rat. Clean freak, doesn't like to get dirty, and might color his hair. To hide the grays, not for style. Is fidgety, and is focused on the physical, not the intellectual. I'm all about a balance but really, I want someone who wants to get to know me, not just get to know my breasts. I just can't do it. He seems like a nice enough guy but there are too many strikes and not enough sparks for it to work out. Sad. For him. For me... stressful, because I hate to have to tell someone that it's not going to work out. Oh well. Never should have had the second date.

I have a friend who handles this in a way that I should have handled it: She doesn't answer the phone or return calls. I think I should implement this program.

It's a little bit skunky, it's a little bit rock and roll

For the second time in a week, a skunk has sprayed in my back yard, and lucky me, the window in my bedroom was open. It's foul upstairs.

I love ice cream

And this guy's talking about starting an ice cream mob. kinda funny.

On Dating, Part 2

You know there should be a second date when the guy says: "Whenever you go out with me, you'll never pay. I won't let the woman pay." But then, you find out that he's just a big 37-year-old 14-year-old and you realize, it won't go anywhere. It would just be for fun. And then, you think, why the hell shouldn't I have some fun? The (currently unresolved) moral dilemma.

Odd Girl Out

I was in a 7-hour meeting this week with about 12 other people and would you believe I was the ONLY one who was single? The ONLY ONE!!! What the fuck?






THE ONLY ONE!!!!!





I can't stand it.

Kelly from The Office

The last line in this post cracked me up.

The Beginning of the End

I've done it. I've thrown in the towel on youth. That must be why I checked a Celine Dion CD out of the library tonight and played it in the car while driving to 2 different grocery stores to find the right variety of cat food earlier tonight. And to top it off, I was wearing sweats. Gross. (but so comfortable. my high school self would have worn more jersey knit if she'd know it was so comfortable.)

On a positive note, I also got these CDs. These will help make a great running CD.

Open House Update

nobody came.

House Talk

The house has been on the market for about 4 weeks. It's a really good house. It's 3 bedrooms, 8 rooms, hardwoods, character (arts and crafts bungalow, people, the architecture of the early 1900s!! (and late 1800s). This house should sell like that. Oh wait, I forgot. There are 32 stairs up to the front door and no driveway. God forbid you don't have a driveway. It's on a dead-end street and I park in front of the house every goddamn day of the year. It's not a problem. But no... lazy people don't want to even walk up the freaking stairs to see the inside.

Anyway, in the first month there hasn't been much activity:

2 individual showings
2 calls for drive-bys, but no follow-up calls
5 people came to the open house, 2 went up the stairs and 3 kept going after telling the realtor that there were too many stairs.

Other factors that have impacted the progress:

Father's Day
Summer
Independence Day
School getting out

The realtor said it would be a good idea to lower the price to below a certain amount, to attract another group of buyers. SO... I did. And now I'm not sure if I should be regretting it. My brother said that realtors just want you to lower the price so it will sell faster, and that they don't care what it sells for, they get their commission either way. It's too late; I've lowered the price. What the hell am I supposed to do? I know that listings get stale, I know that people don't like to look at a house that's been on the market for a long time because they automatically assume something is wrong with it. I do it - I don't want to look at that house that's been listed for a year because clearly there's something that is turning people away. I assume I'm paying a realtor because that person is an expert, and they are getting paid not only to advertise and manage the showings and closing and all that, but also because they know what will sell a house. I know it's a little like a used car salesman, but I also know that I'm pricing the house at a price that is comfortable for me, and that if someone offers something lower than the acceptable price, I'm going to turn it down. Plain and simple. It's just frustrating to get advice from people who've never sold a house before and then to second-guess my decisions, especially when it's sort of too late to go back on it.

Today's the second open house. I have to do a little cat-hair-cleaning and sweeping up of some catnip that I gave the kitties to relax them. Among all this house process, one cat was accidentally left out of the house all night, then spent the next whole day hiding under the bed. The other one has been pulling her fur out and has a bald belly and back of the hind legs. The vet says she's stressed. Or that it's an allergy. She gave her an allergy shot and if her fur grows back, it was probably that. But I'm banking on stress, mainly because the house is really clean, all her toys are put away, I'm never home because I'm either working, going to the gym, or looking for condos (I'm on a break from that last one until the house sells). Also, the neighbor's cat keeps peeing on the back door so I'm constantly cleaning it up. And the other neighbor's cat is spending lots of time in the front garden. (Garden. Ha! Weed bed, more like it.)

So anyway, I have to shower, tidy up, and get out of the house and find something to do while this open house goes on. The plan is to shop for a new swim suit. Fun.

On Dating

You know there shouldn't or won't be a second date when:

1. In response to your offer to split the dinner bill, he says: "Well, actually, you make more money than me so you should pay."
2. He invites you out for a drink, then lets his friend buy you a beer, and doesn't offer you his seat, even though there are only 3 seats and you are a party of 4.
3. He's allergic to cats and you tell him you might be a little crazy (and you have 2 cats).
4. You go to his house (blind date) and when he answers the door, you think "This can't be the guy. He must be going get his roommate, who I'm actually supposed to go out with." And you're wrong.

Shouldn't: 2, 3
Wasn't: 1, 3

Good times.

Grammar Fun

Peak = the top of a mountain
Peek = to look or glance quickly or furtively

Get it right, people.

80 Degrees

It was 80 Degrees Fahrenheit when I returned home from a 3 mile run at 7:10 am!!. That's right, 7:10 am. I met my friend Lisa at 6:30 and somehow managed to run 3 miles in under 45 minutes! Things I've learned since I started running 3 weeks ago:

1. A good, non-sliding, absorbent headband is imperative.
2. The tiny tiny hair clips do a great job holding bangs back.
3. Pace yourself.
4. I wish I had an iPod shuffle. The video one is sort of big, and the armband holder sort of feels like a blood pressure cuff. Is it good to have something constricting my arm when I'm running? Who knows.
5. It's too hot to wear a sports bra AND a shirt. I'm ditching the shirt next time. Not really an attractive look, but more comfortable.
6. There's nothing worse than climbing 32 stairs after a 3 mile run, just to get in the front door. I should leave a bottle of water at the bottom of the stairs.

I've also signed up for 3 days a week of water aerobics and 1 day a week of Pilates, all at the Y. I'm determined to lose some weight this summer, at the risk of not having a social life!

Bad Decision?

I'm beginning to think cancelling the landline was a bad idea. I need to learn how to NOT answer the phone when my mother calls. At least, not every time. And not after 10 at night. Getting to sleep when I'm all worked up is next to impossible.

Other things I'll mull over as I try to get to sleep:

Will there ever be a time when my mother feels as bad for me as she does for my brother?

Why the hell did I wait so long to move out of this city?

Will it be possible to vacuum, clean up, and pull some weeds tomorrow, while making pasta salad and wrapping a birthday present, and also taking a shower and getting ready to leave, all before 11:00 am? God help me, this open house better go over well.

Is it fate that someone sprayed a big freaking graffiti down the street from my house, 3 days before my open house? "Welcome to the Ghetto - aka The West Side. Wanna buy a house?" I'll post a pic tomorrow.

bachelorette party game

each girl picks a card that describes a type of guy and the bride has to take a picture with the guy. Some of the ones they had on "Engaged and Underage":

"Punk Rock Forever guy"
"I skipped 4th grade guy"
"I've got tickets to the gun show guy"

This might be the kind of game I'd like to play at a bachelorette party but I don't want that kind of party. Well, actually, the one on tv was at a ice rink because everyone was under 21. I would enjoy that but I'd end up having my picture taken with a bunch of high schoolers.

In Touch With Reality

Here's what the 8 year old girls are singing while they ride bikes around the neighborhood:

"Nobody's per-fect! I gotta work it!"

User Error

From a wanted ad on Craigslist:


I am looking for a gas on gas stove in good working condition. I can pick up myself. I would like to verify the unit is in good working condition- for example it does not burn food, the burner flame is strong etc. Will pay cash.

I think that burning food is a user error. Don't blame the stove.

Bad Day

I know it's going to be a bad day when I wake up with serious neck pain - pain that came on by sleeping badly over Memorial Day weekend. It was almost gone yesterday and then I went and slept on too many pillows and now I can barely look to the left. Hopefully advil and some relaxation can get rid of it. Currently, though, I'm so tense I can barely relax.

Condo Search
Tense because of the condo search and selling the house. It's been on the market since Sunday so it's only been 5 days but so far no calls. Apparently it's the last week of school, so people with kids aren't looking this week. Then it's Father's day this weekend so no use having an open house. That will be on the 24th.

Money
I also have to decide if I want to have 2 mortgages and also can I afford it? This is way too much to have to think about. I just want it all to be done.

So, I'm grouchy and it's coming across in an IM I was having with a coworker. How will I get through the day? With my iPod, weak iced coffee and an outing at lunch. "An outing?", you ask. "Why yes, I'm off to Target to get some contact lens solution and multi-vitamins." My life can't GET any more boring. Another reason I'm so goddamn grouchy.

I'M IN IOVE

with this blog.

Found via Blogger's Blogs of Note.

Current Faves

Hackensack and Mexican Wine by Fountains of Wayne. Well, really, just about the entire "welcome interstate managers" album. Album. That's right. I still call them albums.
The song that samples the Supertramp song "Take a look at my girlfriend" or whatever it's called. I am going to buy the actual Supertramp song.

Condo Shopping

I don't even feel like writing about the condo search so I will be brief, if only so I can look back on this later to jog my memory.

I went to Roslindale to some open houses yesterday. 2, I'd already seen. One had a parking space AND a yard, and really high ceilings. If it wasn't only in my first week of looking, I might have made an offer, but I think I need to keep looking. Can't buy the first thing, even if it does look good.

Mom and I took some time (not a lot) and walked around the square. I bought some delicious rosemary bread from Fornax bakery. I also bought a super-buttery croissant with spinach and romano filling. It was good, and their sandwich menu looks delicious. It would be nice to have that within walking distance. There are at least 3 bakeries in the shopping area called Roslindale Village. Also, a bookstore, garden shop, library, pharmacy, and grocery store.

I also did some internet searching, and found this report of a satisfaction survey that the Roslindale business association sent out to the residents. A lot of things that people asked for (yoga/pilates, a woman's clothing store that wasn't outrageously prices, etc.) are things that I would want too. So, they aren't there now, but I bet they will be eventually. Optimistic. Also, someone who Dad works with has lived there for 30 years and loves it. I think I might be happy there.

Right now, I'm seriously not happy. I'm covered in mosquito bites that I got when clearing out the yard last night. Thankfully, Dana helped me so I wasn't out there in the malaria haze for too long.

Fun Link

Passive-aggressive notes

Worcester represents here.

You Tell 'Em, Rick

City Councilor Rick Rushton, quoted in the Worcester T&G, about the new garage that is being built near Union Station.

“The Union Station garage and what is happening in Lowell are apples and oranges,” Mr. Rushton said. “The reality is that the council, including the mayor at the time (Timothy P. Murray, who is now lieutenant governor) decided we didn’t want a honky-tonk garage next to a beautiful station. Sometimes you have to spend money to make money.”

I LOVE that he used the word honky-tonk.

Dark Secrets

The name of the paint color I'm painting the bathroom floor is Dark Secret, by Glidden. It's black, mostly. Sort of chalkboard black. Slightly gray.

mach.com? no! match.com

I've been criticized by a number of people for my "issue" with men who can't spell. As I've shared in the past, I have a profile on Match.com and often spend time browsing the personals. I see a lot of crazy profiles (like the guy who said he was single but was clearly wearing a wedding band), and a LOT of crappy grammar and spelling. I understand there is a common belief that men can't spell, and maybe it's true. Men are better at math, women are better at English, and men can't spell. Ok, fine. If the first way I was meeting a guy was in person, it wouldn't matter. But if the first impression a guy makes is online, via text, it's imperative that there are no totally outrageous errors. Like this one:

Was born in Minnisota

Ok, really now, is it too much to ask that the guy be able to spell the state he was born in?! I think not. Plus, I don't think it's really too much to ask to meet a guy who can form a complete sentence, with periods, capital letters, and no LOLs. LOL sucks. Most of the time. Unless I'm using it. That's just how I am.

Vanity Plates and No Shame

I spent a few days in Vermont with the family over Memorial Day weekend. Amanda noticed that there was an unusually high number of vanity plates on the road. We saw at least 10, I'd say. Here are some pix of the ones I could photograph. Most of the others were seen while driving.






We also had a very strange encounter with a couple at the Vermont Pub and Brewery. They were probably in their early 50s, and were sitting outside on the patio with their dog. I think they were having beers, and for like 15 minutes, the lady was on the phone. Amanda had her back to them but could overhear and man, was this conversation annoying. The lady sounded really snooty.

After we'd finished eating, the lady came over to ask us how the food was. She said she'd wondered - I think she might have mentioned that she hadn't eaten there before. They might have been having drinks. So far, totally normal. Then, we left. Mom looked back, and noticed that the lady had taken our leftover nachos off the table, and they were about to dig in!! To our leftovers! So inappropriate. I know, I know, you shouldn't waste food. Well, these are nachos. Not good for you. And really, not really good.

Packing and Procrastinating

Thank god it's rerun season on the boob tube. If it wasn't, I'd never get this house cleaned. Here's an update on the moving plans.

One realtor came and did a market analysis on the house. It was the realtor who I used when looking for my house over 6 years ago. She was nice - talked for toooooo long, and gave me a lower estimate of what I could sell the place for than I had hoped. Then, she said she would put me in touch with a realtor in Boston and also set me up on her company site to get listings in Boston emailed to me. She didn't do either of those things, and it's been almost a month. I haven't heard from her. Now, I'm taking a break from tidying up the joint for the second realtor to come over and do an analysis. I'm more optimistic about this one. She was really nice on the phone and came recommended. Plus, she's about my age, which is kind of nice.

I am going into JP on Friday to meet with a real estate agent recommended by my brother. So far, I like him. He's responsive, informative, and set me up on the MLS site to get listings mailed to me.

The house will hopefully be on the market soon. A crochety old man at work gave me a hard time the other day. He totally burst my bubble by saying "OH, it's going to take a really long time to sell that house. The market is really bad." What a jerk. This afternoon, he asked me if the house was sold yet and then acted surprised when I said no. Sigh. Why do I share personal things at work? It often comes to no good.

One of the things I am most looking forward to about moving is that I won't have so much space to think about. I won't feel lonely in a huge place, but I also will have a smaller space to keep clean. As it is now, I always feel like there is something to do, either inside or out in the yard. I am SO sick of thinking about the yard. Shoveling, paying my brother to mow the lawn, all that crap. TOO MUCH. And the junk mail. It's out of control. I'm wondering if I will stop getting all the junk mail for a while.

I just saw a segment of Chronicle talking up East Boston. Am I picking the wrong place to live? I keep second-guessing myself. But, I think it will all work out in the end.

Craigslist is So Funny

I flagged a post for "best of" because I thought it was clever. What do you think?

After I posted, I got a page that said the usual "thanks for flagging this message" yadda yadda yadda. At the bottom was this:

 ____________________
( look, a dragonfly! )
--------------------
      o   
      o   
       o  @..@
         (----) 
        ( )--( )
         o0..0o

I'm not sure why, but it's kind of funny. And wacked.

A Regretful Purchase

Warning - sort of detailed shoe and foot issue below. Skip if you hate that sort of thing.






So, the fantastic brown sandals I searched high and low for, and paid entirely too much for - they are ripping my feet to shreds. Both of my big toes are getting rubbed raw, and when I walk, my foot makes a yucky sound when separating from the sole. I keep hoping that they just need to get broken in. Part of the problem is that my feet, all day, sit under my desk. And it's pretty hot under there, so my feet get sweaty and then when I walk, the shoe doesn't slide nicely like it would if I had cool-as-a-cucumber feet. Hence, the pain. Oh well. I'll still wear them, considering they are the only pair of shoes I wear regularly that don't feel so hot.

On a side note, I almost broke my ankle last weekend, wearing black heeled sandals in the rain. I got wet, my shoe got slippery, and it was almost all over for me.

Photo

I'm really proud of this photo. I'm going to order a print for my new condo. Whenever I find it.

Head out of the clouds, please

Not only did I leave my debit card in the ATM this morning, I left the computer I was planning to drop off at the city waste site on the sidewalk. I found this out when I got home. I went all the way there (Got lost on the way, of course), paid my $20 to drop off the monitor, keyboard, cpu, printer and an air conditioner, the guys unloaded the stuff, and I went on my merry way. As I drove up to my house after work, there, on the sidewalk, was the computer. Now, I have to make another appointment, and admit I'm an airhead to the public works department to avoid having to pay for the drop-off a second time.

Good Deed for the Day

I left the ATM drive-up this morning with my cash but not the card. Fortunately, there was a lot of traffic and I wasn't able to speed right off and the lady behind me found it. She beeped and waved it out the window. Today was my lucky day!! I need to get my head out of the clouds, though. This is not the first time I've left without my card.

Reading and Walking

Tonight, I saw a woman walking very slowly down Pleasant Street, reading a book. It made me nostalgic for the times I used to do the very same thing.

my ears are ringing.
I didn't do as much as i wanted to do today.
but
I found
2 pairs of shoes
i didn't know i had.
one was brown.
didn't i just spend weeks
looking for brown shoes?
these ones i found.
they ROCK.

I have a shopping problem.

Zigster

The Ziggy comic shown in this post is soooooo gross and the comment describing it so accurate. Scroll down for Ziggy.

Eek, a Slug!

As I may have grouchily mentioned, it's been raining for-EVER. Rain brings out all sorts of loveliness like worms and other creatures. Yesterday, my outdoorsy cat Sam greeted me at the bottom of the stairs with a slug on his head! I picked it off, tossed it (it got stuck to my fingers - gross!) and noticed aloud that he had slug slime on his head. It's now the next day and he STILL has slug slime on his head. Gross.

Rain Rain Go Away

It's been raining forever. I can't stand it. I like spring, but god, it seems like it rains a lot during spring. It was like 80 degrees on Saturday and today it's freezing, damp, cold, yucky. Good weather to pull weeks in the backyard. Great weather to say, out loud, "I hate you, you stupid plant" over and over, as I pulled out the terribly invasive Japanese Knotweed that's basically taken over my back yard. Um. Back banking, not yard, really. I've put down weed block, and the weeds just poke freaking holes through the weed block stuff. I doubled it up on one small area today, and started mulching. I need about 6 more bags. My car is making a rattling noise and I"m hoping it's not bad. I'm also wondering if it's from carrying 2 bags of mulch in the trunk, from the Depot to home. Or if it's just something loose.
Ok. Enough. I'm off to read a book (true story) about a woman who went off to search for her relatives, all of whom have extra fingers. Book report will be written when finish. It's called Kinfolks, by Lisa Alther.)

Forty Bucks Richer

I posted a For Sale item on Craigslist today, at around 1 pm. Like, 2 hours later, someone called and wanted to buy it. It's 630 pm and it's GONE and I am $40 richer. Yes, I could have asked for mo money, but really, I've had it for 10 years, I think I've gotten enough use out of it.

Yahoo!!! That covers groceries for the week! So proud of myself.

Anticipation of more money - someone might buy some floor lamps this weekend.

Score!

I returned the Vera Bradley bag and the DSW shoes: $84 back
I deposited a refund check from Verizon that I wasn't even expecting: $24.03
I deposited tons of coins that I've been saving: $49.27.

Total savings today: $157.30

And I didn't spend any money today. It's like being an alcoholic: One Day at a Time

Buyer's Remorse

I spend too much money. I just calculated my monthly expenses, so that I could tell the mortgage guy how much I wanted to spend every month, and it was pretty sad. Too much money. On food, dining out, clothes, and shoes. And heat, and electricity. Actually, according to a debt reduction company's budget calculator, I spend less than I "should" on clothes, and too much on housing. And I want to move to a place that will cost me more. So something has to change. I need to bring my lunch daily, cut back on going out, and actually eat the several-months worth of food that is stored in my pantry.

First, though, after work tomorrow, I'm returning the shoes I bought at DSW (already a plan, anyway) and the Vera Bradley bag I bought for myself. Instead, I'll use one of the bags I was planning to donate to the Salvation Army. Perfectly good bags. And I will try not to feel guilty about my overspending.

You know what though? I have out-to-lunch plans tomorrow with coworkers. I really don't want to spend $10 at Panera at lunch, especially when I'll probably be interrogated about my dating experiences, job life, etc. I wish I could skip it, to save money. But I can't. So, I'll bring my own water and get something small. Especially since I have deli ham in the fridge, and homemade spanakopita that I'd rather eat.

I wonder how long this overspending guilt will last? Until next payday? Ha!

Shoe Update

I'm keeping the Naturalizer's, and returning the ones from DSW. Amanda suggested. I agreed.

Check out the pedicure. Money well spent.

Happiness Is...

Being less in debt. I just paid off one of my 2 credit card balances today. I'm now less than $3K in credit card debt! I haven't been in this position since I refinanced 5 years ago, and then, I didn't pay off the debt, I just moved it to the mortgage. Stupid stupid move. This time, I've been paying off the debt with actual cash.

So, how does a shopping addict celebrate? Well, I needed, yes needed, a new pair of flip flops, so I headed to DSW to get some sweet comfy Tevas. I figured, while I was there, I may as well look at the brown sandals, even though I just bought a pair last night. But they were $60 and that's kinda pricey. So I bought a pair of Nine West ones, and I'm going to do a comparison and probably return the expensive ones. Probably. Though the gas to get down there and back is probably like $5 anyway. This is insane.

Now, I'm off to get a pedicure so I can actually feel comfortable in these new sandals.

House Sale/Moving Update

I have done one thing to prepare the house: I cleaned one of my 2 closets. This weekend, I'm going to paint it and also clean a bunch more. I'm not moving as quickly as I should especially since having the house on the market is NOT going to help it sell. It gets BOILING up on the second floor without AC. And I only have one window AC, and 3 rooms.

At least I don't do drugs

I have a serious spending problem. I'm trying to curb it. I'm trying to wear the clothes I own and not buy more. But a lot of the clothes I own don't fit, either because they're too big (from the fat years) or because they're too small (because of the post-surgery swelling). So I've bought some dresses. They're easy to wear and are pretty comfortable. Of course, I bought a brown dress, and don't have brown shoes. I've been searching high and low for good brown summer sandals. I finally found these tonight.

Now, all I need to be ready for the summer is a new pair of flip flops.

Yeah, right. That's all I need. Until I see something else I want.

Tomorrow, I'm making some returns of things I bought but don't need.

No time to blog

I don't have time to blog. I'm losing valuable market time by not having my house on the market right now!!

So, last week, the realtor who sold me the house came over to do a market analysis. She basically said I could get about 2x what I paid for the place. That's pretty good, considering I only owe about 25% more than I paid. Something like that. Basically, I could net enough to make a decent down payment on a condo in Boston. Boston, which is, according to Chronicle, almost the most expensive place to live. They suggested tonight that Brockton and Lowell are the next two up and coming places for first-time home buyers. Since I'm not a first-time home buyer, and I already live in an old mill city, I'm heading straight for poverty and moving to Boston.

Before, however, I need to clean out 7 years worth of stuff, and paint. Tonight, 8 grocery bags of clothes got dropped in the donation box. There's plenty more where that came from, so it's going to be a busy week. If I'm lucky, the house will be on the market in a month and I'll be out of town by fall. Raise your glass to optimism! I did, twice, earlier tonight, when I cracked open a free bottle of wine. Peace brand wine.

Next up on the list: selling crap on Craigslist. Though, I sort of thing I'm going to be listing things as "$20 or best offer, you take away". I'll be negotiated down to free, after they see the stairs.

Not So Out Of Place

Knitting class tonight was hilarious. The ladies in this class are really funny. I know that last week I felt out of place, but this week, the conversation was much more diverse and I wasn't constantly reminded of my single-non-mommyhood. And when the kid stuff did come up, it was fine; good even. I must have been in a shitty woe-is-me frame of mind last week. Well, I definitely was. I know it. That doesn't mean I won't feel out of place again, but I think I need to go back to thinking what I thought before I turned 35, which was "everything happens in its own time, and I'll meet someone eventually." Lately, I've been thinking "I'll never meet anyone." I think 35 is a turning point for a lot of people. The thing is, I know a lot of people who met the loves of their lives at ages older than I am now. So it can happen. Sometimes it gets me down but I'm on the positive upswing.

Spring Has Sprung!

Random Notes

I should have worn a slip today. Then, when the wind blew up my wrap dress, I wouldn't have flashed the world. Ok, ok, I was in the parking garage and nobody saw, but it's only 10:52 am and there's a whole day left for that to happen.

This is just weird.

Best Song Title Ever

I Love You (But You're Boring) by the Beautiful South

Update re: Out of Place

So, last night, on a whim, I visited the LunchDates website. They called me today to hard sell me their dating service and it works out to a really expensive investment. The longest plan is $1500 for 1 year or 20 dates, whichever comes last. The shorter plan costs about $125/date. I think that's kind of expensive. Maybe it's worth it, but I think I'll wait until I have extra money to burn like that. Maybe once my zip code changes Match.com will be more successful.

Let's Talk Baseball

The other day, my neighbor, who is apparently a HUGE Red Sox fan, said that she thought that Dice-K had an "elegant" pitching style. That's the first time I've heard baseball described as elegant, but after watching him, I have to agree. He's so clean - he breathes, and pitches. His style is nothing like the other pitchers'. Those guys have to fix their gloves, rub their eyes, fidget with their hats, spit, look around, spit again, and then pitch. It's amazing how much OCD is in this sport. The players have so many things they HAVE TO do before they bat. Seriously, if I had to do all that shit before I got on with my life, I'd still be in 5th grade.

So, things I like about Dice-K:

The announcers actually don't call him Dice-K
He pitches. He doesn't give in to every obsession before pitching, he just pitches.
His uniform fits

Out of Place.

So much of the time in my life, I feel out of place. Even (and often especially) with friends and family.

I'm 35, single, and not happy about it. So, what's unusual about that, you might ask?

Well, I'm 35, so older than ALL of my friends.
Not happy about it, which means I want to, even enjoy, going out to places where I might meet someone.
Single: most of the people I spend the most of my time with not only aren't single, but don't know any single people. It's not their fault, nor do I expect them to know single people to set me up with. I enjoy them for them, not for who they know. But sometimes I think, if these people are my friends and family, and I love them, then if they know someone who's single, wouldn't it be nice if that single person were for them them what my friends and family are for me? Wishful thinking.

If anything, it's my fault. It not like I haven't had my marriage proposals, or "really nice boyfriends". I have. I know. But, none of it worked out. And now, it's 2007, I'm 35, it's Friday night and I'm blogging. If it were 1996, I'd be journaling. I still have them, the old journals. Hate reading them, but can't bring myself to throw them away. Even when I thought I might die during surgery, and told my friend where they were just in case.

Most recently, I felt out of place at a knitting class. Teacher: 35 and pregnant with her 3rd. Other classmates: moms with kids. Other classmates: grandmothers. Me: ONLY SINGLE PERSON. Nothing to add to the pre-natal testing conversation, the 'kids going to college' conversation, or pretty much anything related to kids. Nothing to add the husband/boyfriend talk. I mention that I feel outnumbered and it's "Have you tried Lunchdates?" I just wanted to leave, cry, and throw the goddamn size 1 needle socks out the window. But, I tapped into the positive side of myself, which, I have to admit, is pretty strong, and participated, and did a few rows of the sock leg.

So, there should be a moral or a lesson or something to this post, I suppose. Well...plans to make myself feel better: manicure, pedicure, 3+days/week at the gym or exercising; positive attitude; best part: appointment next week to get a market analysis on the house. It's time. I'm moving out of Worcester. If nothing else, I'll be out of the line of sight.

The Ride In

Things I noticed on the way to work today:

• A woman driving with a small, amost toy-like dog on her lap. The pet-owner's version of pulling a Britney Spears.
• A dark green Volkswagen Eurovan. Love them. They were driving too slowly so I had to pass, and I happily spotted a big box that was bright yellow and had the word Happy typed on it.
• The woman in line behind me at Bagel Time had a hat on. Kind of like a going to church hat, and her hair was in a low bun. It was pink (the hat, not the hair), and she had a cute skirt suit on. Nice to see someone dressed up.
• A large hawk, circling over the mall.

Baseball

I don't watch a lot of baseball games on TV. I'm a fair weather fan. The last time I watched regularly was the first time they almost made it to the world series. I guess that would be about 4 years ago. This year, I want to get into it, and I've actually paid attendtion to a lot of games. It helps that I get both NESN and ESPN and that TV comedy is in reruns. Last week, I went to a Cincinnati Reds game and it kind of got me excited for baseball.

I like baseball because I understand pretty much all of the rules. 3 strikes, 4 balls, 3 outs. Home team bats last, pitchers don't hit in the American League. The thing that I'm noticing this year, for the first time, is that the Red Sox don't always wear the same uniforms. Tonight, they're gray and they have both a number and name on the back. The other night, maybe last week, they were wearing green t-shirts. And yet another night, the shirts were white and only had a number, no name. What's the deal?

back to work - the fun never stops

At like 3 o'clock today, I starting feeling sharp pains in my body - like, above my armpits. I figured it wasn't a heart attack since it wasn't in my chest. Then I took note of my position - hunched over the keyboard, chin jutting out, frantically typing on a presentation that was due before the end of the day - and realized that merely 7 business days after I returned to work, I had let the job get the best of me.

Before I went back, I told myself (and many others, as a matter of fact) that I wasn't going to go back and work like crazy. I was going to take a lunch break every day and make sure I didn't stress out. Well... I've been sort of successful on the lunch break thing but I wish it involved more than getting up from my chair, going outside, and sitting my fat ass down at the picnic tables. Especially since the picnic tables were built with someone other than humans in mine. This is where an engineer would come in really handy. My friend's husband is an engineer and I think he's designed some furniture - I can't remember what kind of engineer that is though. Racking my brain. But it's too full of work stuff. Industrial?

So, the pains set in, I did a lap around the cubes, came back to my desk, and finished up. Looked up, it was 5:01, and left.

I did a run/walk today, a 2.7 mile look, and feel much better. I think I'll do this every day. The run/walk. Not the excessive hunching, to the point of having body pains.